Calvin Sears, age 14
Washtenaw International High School
Okay, so I like this girl. Her name is [redacted]. So I’m all like, “Dang [redacted] so fine, but she probably won’t notice me” every day of my life, just being an awkward pimply teenager as usual. I swear, if I wasn’t thinking about [redacted] twenty-four seven, I was probably thinking about food, but still.
So anyway, I’m at this hair salon, which is called *Censored* Cuts. So, I’m at *Censored* Cuts texting my good pally <<404>> about [redacted] situation, and who “ships” us or whatever. I’m sitting in a leather chair gushing sweat like Niagra Falls, heart beating so fast it might get a speeding ticket and a $500 fine, and I’m just debating with myself about whether or not I should confess my feels to [redacted]. Luckily <<404>> and [redacted] were at school still with a few of my other friends, so it wouldn’t be so awkward. Probably. I was clammier than a seafood place, white-knuckles clenching my phone and finally pouring my feelings out at my keyboard like a glass of water hoping the texting [redacted] would make me feel better.
BOY WAS I WRONG! Not like I got rejected or anything, more like everybody, myself included was flipping OUT. Suddenly, I was being swamped with texts and calls from <<404>> and his brother—error—even WHILE I WAS ON THE TOILET. So, I’m sitting on the toilet and <<404>> is all like being mysterious and not responding and every now and then she’ll be all “her phone died broseph” or send a word of encouragement while—error—is just textin’ and callin’ like crazy about everything and WOW OH MY GOD WAS I TERRIFIED. And when I did finally get an answer back from [redacted], she was just as awkward as me, all vague and all. But, finally I did run into her and her two friends jumped on me like guard dogs and scoped me out like a freakin’ telescope fan club. It was terrifying to be sure. Anyway, I’m out of time but this was all about a week ago so THE SAGA CONTINUES.
